Workplace Communication and Feedback

Overview

This skill covers communication and feedback practices for B2B marketing leaders, including how to give and receive feedback, manage your communication style, reduce interpersonal friction, and build trust in remote and async environments. All practices are sourced exclusively from Exit Five podcast guests; no general best practices have been added. Where guests disagree, both positions are presented in full.

Giving Feedback to Your Team

Give direct feedback and state your point of view clearly. When you have strong opinions backed by expertise, tell team members what you want done and why. Do not use probing questions as a disguised directive — this is a form of manipulation that teams find frustrating. People learn better from direct feedback than from being steered toward a predetermined answer through questions. Teams appreciate working for leaders with high standards who can articulate them clearly. (Source: Kieran Flanagan, Episodes #318 and #257)

(Note: The use of direct feedback vs. curiosity-based questioning is contested — see Where Experts Disagree.)

Establish a regular feedback cadence so employees always know where they stand. Provide both positive and constructive feedback consistently. Do not let employees feel uncertain about their performance or force them to ask where they stand. When an employee responds to constructive feedback and improves, explicitly recognize that improvement. This removes ambiguity and creates psychological safety around feedback. (Source: Rachel Weeks, Episode #273)

Explicitly communicate your feedback style to your team before friction arises. Identify your natural feedback style — whether direct and blunt, warm and connective, or results-focused — and proactively explain it to colleagues and direct reports. Make clear that your style is not a personal attack or a judgment of their worth. For example: "I give direct, specific feedback quickly. If I don't like something, I'll tell you directly, but that doesn't mean I think you're bad at your job." This prevents team members from internalizing critical feedback as a reflection of their value. (Source: Dave Gerhardt, Episode #160)

Receiving Criticism and Managing Defensiveness

When receiving criticism, listen more and talk less. Defensive behavior — particularly interrupting before others finish their point ("But you don't understand...") — is a common CMO failure pattern that frustrates board members and executives. The simplest corrective action is to stop talking and receive the information. You cannot be defensive while genuinely listening. (Source: Dave Kellogg, Episode #342)

(Note: The balance between listening/curiosity and direct directiveness is contested — see Where Experts Disagree.)

Adopt genuine curiosity when facing conflict or criticism. Instead of defending your position immediately, ask questions like "Why does this bother you so much?" or "Tell me more." This approach — drawn from sales training on selling through curiosity — helps you step out of your emotional reaction and understand the other person's perspective. The goal is to understand the issue, not to win the argument. (Source: Dave Kellogg, Episode #342)

(Note: this curiosity-first approach is contested against a directness-first approach — see Where Experts Disagree.)

Self-Awareness and Communication Style

Understand your personality superpower and its corresponding kryptonite, then manage both consciously. Your greatest strength often has a shadow side. For example, being calm and unflappable is a strength, but it can make you seem emotionally distant or unreadable to your team. Identify this dynamic in yourself, communicate it to your team, and actively work to mitigate the downside so your strength does not become a liability. (Source: Peter Mahoney, Episode #188)

Use a personality or working-style framework to set expectations with your team. Tools like Insights Discovery or similar frameworks help your team understand how you operate, what to expect from you, and how to collaborate with you effectively. You can create a simple document outlining your communication style, decision-making approach, and what works best for collaboration. This reduces friction and sets clear expectations upfront. (Source: Peter Mahoney, Episode #188)

Use AI to generate a candid "How to Work with Me" document. Ask ChatGPT or Claude to generate a "How to Work with Me" document by providing context about your working style, then specifically prompt it to include the hard truths — the things people might not enjoy about working with you. Share the real version of yourself, not the idealized version, so colleagues know what they're actually getting. This reduces friction and helps people understand how to communicate with you effectively. (Source: Kieran Flanagan, Episode #257)

Diagnosing and Reducing Interpersonal Friction

When an interaction feels friction-filled, use a three-part framework to diagnose what's happening. Ask: (1) What am I bringing to this conversation — my vulnerabilities and strengths? (2) What are they bringing — their vulnerabilities and strengths? (3) What is happening between us — how are our styles, needs, and vulnerabilities interacting? This separates what is yours, what is theirs, and what is created by the dynamic itself. Use this to improve communication and reduce misunderstandings rooted in different work preferences or styles. (Source: Kara Hardin, Episode #160)

Apply the clarity-as-kindness principle to all internal communication. Say what you mean directly and thoughtfully, without making people sort through unclear language to figure out your intent. This applies to interactions with leadership, peers, and direct reports alike. Direct, clear communication signals respect for people's time and makes them more willing to engage with you and your work. (Source: Molly Sands, Episode #264)

Remote and Async Communication

Build trust in-person first to enable charitable interpretation of async messages. In async-heavy environments, tone and intent are difficult to read in written messages. High trust between team members allows them to interpret terse Slack messages or emails charitably rather than defensively. Invest in in-person time and relationship building upfront so that when someone sends a short message, the recipient understands it is efficiency, not anger. Trust is the foundation that makes async communication work. (Source: Matt Devincentis, Episode #260)

Use varied communication methods intentionally — do not rely on a single channel. Mix synchronous and asynchronous communication. Use Slack for updates and administration, but schedule regular calls or in-person conversations for deeper connection and idea-generation. Constant messaging without genuine connection creates loneliness. Recognize that different people need different modes — some need text, others need voice or video. The goal is to actually connect with colleagues, not just administrate with them. (Source: Kara Hardin, Episode #160)

Where Experts Disagree

Should managers give direct feedback and directives, or use curiosity and questions to guide team members?

Support summary: 2 vs 2 (Kieran Flanagan appears twice in support of directness; Dave Kellogg appears twice in support of curiosity and listening)

Position 1: Give direct feedback and state directives clearly Supported by: Kieran Flanagan (Episodes #318 and #257)

Flanagan argues that when you have a strong point of view — especially on creative work — you should state it directly rather than using probing questions to steer people toward your thinking. He frames the probing-questions technique as a form of manipulation: you already know the answer you want, and you're pretending to ask. Teams find this frustrating. He argues that people prefer working for leaders who are craftspeople with high standards and who will say "I want to do it this way" rather than disguising directives as questions. Direct feedback is faster, more honest, and helps people learn more effectively.

"Don't use questions as a disguise for directives." — Kieran Flanagan, Episode #257

Position 2: Use genuine curiosity and listen more, especially in conflict Supported by: Dave Kellogg (Episodes #342 and #342)

Kellogg draws on sales training around "selling through curiosity" and argues that asking questions like "Why does this bother you so much?" or "Tell me more" is the superior communication move when facing criticism or conflict — particularly from peers, board members, or sales counterparts. He identifies defensive interruption as a common CMO failure pattern and prescribes listening as the simplest corrective action, arguing that you literally cannot be defensive while receiving information. The goal is to understand the issue, not to win the argument.

"You're genuinely trying to understand the issue, not win the argument." — Dave Kellogg, Episode #342

Context dependency: This disagreement is partially resolvable by context. Flanagan's advice is primarily about giving feedback downward to team members on creative work when you have expertise and a clear point of view. Kellogg's advice is primarily about receiving criticism from peers, board members, or cross-functional stakeholders — a defensive-reaction context. If you separate these two scenarios, the tension partially dissolves.

However, both guests frame their advice broadly enough that genuine tension remains: Flanagan explicitly argues against using questions as a communication tool in favor of directness as a general principle, while Kellogg explicitly argues for questions and listening as the superior communication move. A leader who defaults to one approach in all situations risks either being perceived as manipulative (overusing probing questions) or as dismissive and closed-off (defaulting to directives when listening would build more trust).

Trend note: Both positions appear in 2025–2026 episodes. There is no chronological pattern suggesting one view is superseding the other.

How to help the user: When a user asks for advice on this topic, surface both positions and ask clarifying questions: Are they giving feedback to a direct report on work they own? (Flanagan's directness advice likely applies.) Are they receiving criticism from a peer, board member, or cross-functional stakeholder? (Kellogg's curiosity advice likely applies.) Do not present either position as settled consensus.

What NOT To Do

• Do not use probing questions as disguised directives. If you already know what you want, say it. Steering people toward a predetermined answer through questions is a form of manipulation that teams find frustrating and disrespectful. (Source: Kieran Flanagan, Episodes #318 and #257)

• Do not interrupt when receiving criticism. Phrases like "But you don't understand..." before the other person has finished speaking are a recognized CMO failure pattern. They signal defensiveness and frustrate board members and executives. (Source: Dave Kellogg, Episode #342)

• Do not leave employees uncertain about where they stand. Employees should not have to ask whether their performance is acceptable. Ambiguity about standing creates anxiety and erodes psychological safety. (Source: Rachel Weeks, Episode #273)

• Do not rely on a single communication channel for all interactions. Using only Slack or only async messaging for everything — including relationship-building and complex idea-generation — creates loneliness and misunderstanding. Vary your methods intentionally. (Source: Kara Hardin, Episode #160)

• Do not present an idealized version of yourself in "how to work with me" documents. Sharing only your strengths sets false expectations. Include the hard truths — the things people might not enjoy about working with you — so colleagues know what they're actually getting. (Source: Kieran Flanagan, Episode #257)

• Do not assume async messages are emotionally charged without a trust foundation. In low-trust environments, terse messages are frequently misread as anger or dismissal. Invest in relationship-building before going async-heavy. (Source: Matt Devincentis, Episode #260)

• Do not let your personality superpower go unmanaged. Every strength has a shadow side. If you don't identify and communicate your kryptonite to your team, your strength can become a liability. (Source: Peter Mahoney, Episode #188)

Sources